Well, this post is a few hours later than I had originally planned, but I guess that probably doesn't much matter to my one or two devoted readers...
 
I think that Iowa City has it out for me, either because I am leaving or because I have not yet left.  Three main reasons for this, the final being the one that prompted the title of this entry:
 
1) Carpenter ants have begun to invade my apartment, hanging out creepily on the ceiling, just out of my reach.  Now, if I were a few inches taller, like, say, Ryan, I could reach these guys and terminate them.  However, I am not and I don't really see myself growing much taller in the next three days before I leave Iowa City.
 
2) They put a new friend in my path mere weeks before I move.  A new friend that I fucking love to talk to.  We are world-class banterers, you should hear us, really.
 
3) Last night, following a peaceful, uneventful, delicious evening of supper (to help clean out my freezer-like space) with Daniel and Jory, I packed up my Lawery's, stewed rhubarb, sugar, large chopping knife and bottle of soy sauce and headed home about midnight-ish.  My eyes had not yet adjusted to the dark.  I was headed toward the street, when suddenly I ran full gait up against something that stopped the forward movement of my feet but not the rest of my body.  I found myself on the ground, my bag underneath me and dark fluid covering my knees and flowing down the pavement.  I thought, "Ohmigod! That is a lot of blood."  Then I realized it was way too much to have accumulated that quickly from any injuries that I may have sustained.  But I knew that I didn't have that much stewed rhubarb in my bag and it was in tupperware.  Then it hit me, "Soy sauce! glass bottle!!"  It was too dark, so I couldn't tell if it was soy sauce or blood covering my legs.  I figured it was soy sauce, but decided that, close as I still was to Jory and Daniel's, I should go back to use their light to see for sure.  Well, I did and, guess what? It was blood.  Fun, eh?  Daniel was like, "Holy shit! what happened?!?"  I explained, hopped into the bathroom carefully and quickly, so as not to leave a trail of blood across their carpet, dropping off my plastic bag, now in shreds and full of soy-sauce soaked items and broken glass, on the linoleum kitchen floor.
The boys were great about overreacting slightly and helping me get cleaned up.  I actually left pools of blood on their bathroom floor.  Amazing how much knee cuts will bleed.  After applying pressure to my left knee (cut up worse) for a bit, Daniel and I realized that it was not helping, but that raising it above the level of my heart would probably help.  The only way to do that, whilst remaining in the easy-to-clean bathroom, was for me to swivel sideways on top of the toilet, leaning back (into thin air), and prop both legs up on the sink.  Once the blood flow was stemmed from left knee, right  had to be dealt with.  There was a piece of glass lodged in my shin.  I thought that it was pretty darn small, cause it couldn't really be seen, but I could hear it in there when I probed with a pair of tweezers.  Scenery change to Daniel's desk, leg up, bright reading lamp trained on right shin.  Using a pair of swiss army knife tweezers (you know the kind I mean?) I was able to get one edge of the glass stuck up a little in the air.  There was a skin flap over the other edges, though.  So, I used a larger, stronger, though more cumbersome, tweezers to pull on the glass to remove it.  It took several tries to extract the shard.  It was rather larger than we had suspected.  Think tiny chicklet except roughly triangular.  It was lodged quite far into my shin.  The bleeding increased once it was removed, too.  Road rash on right palm and thigh, gonna have a nice bruise on the latter.  I left my mark on the pavement, too.  Broken glass and soy-sauce stain.  If anyone is interested in viewing the scene of the crime, so to speak, it is on the little pseudo-driveway leading to Dodge St. from 330 S. Dodge.

So, you see, Iowa City is definitely unhappy with me, though whether because I am leaving or still here, I cannot surmise.  What do you all think?