There have been a couple of really really cool things that I have gotten to do in the past couple of weeks that I will be posting about later tonight or something, not now, I have more studying to do now. That and breathing, I just need to remember to breathe...

Biochem test later today. The past week my motivation for studying has been non-existant... well, no, that's not true, I have several times been really gung-ho for it, ubt I feel like I gain nothing from studying lately. My brain has become either too porous, so that stuff is running right through it, or it has become like a sheet of glass, and not borosilicate glass either. A thin sheet of non-porous but impure glass, set to shatter at any moment, with little warning, at the slightest pressure. This would help to explain why I have been plunging into depression with the stress as of late, my little glass brain can't handle the stress.

Why is it that the first year of vet school (and maybe the rest of it too, for all I know) is fraught with manic-depressive-ness on the part of the students? One minute we are sure that yes, not only do we want to be veterinarians, but we will become them, we can do this, we are meant to be here and this is awesome. The next minute here is the last place we want to be, we want to curl up in a ball under our covers and just get a nine to five at a realtor or insurance companty or Wal-Mart, what were we thinking when we decided to do this, why did they accept us, maybe we don't really want to be vets, maybe we were never meant to do this at all.

At least, I guess, it isn't just me. Sounds like a lot of people in my class are feeling like that. At the end of the day (figuratively speaking), I always come back to the same comclusion that I have been coming to for, like, 12 years or something, I do want to do this, this IS where I am supposed to be, and I WILL get through this.
Why is all that so hard to believe at night when I am studying or going to bed and in the morning when I have drag my sad, icky body out of bed for another day of being overwhelmed?