So, I have recently, over the course of this past (just barely) semester of school, realized that I have an obsession, long mostly-latent, but rearing its ugly head at the oddest times in the weirdest places. I may actually be a neat/organization freak in some odd way. Weird little pockets of my life are, and have been for a long time, very obsessively organized. Books in alphabetical order by author/editor and title, pens grouped by type and color, that kind of thing. There are a lot of things that I just don't care about, but there are things that I just prefer to have and have done a certain way. I think that most people are like that. I mean, most things I don't freak out if they aren't the exact way I like them, but if I get the chance to do so, I do them my way. Control, I guess.

Well, anyway, my problem: this obsession is spreading, like a flesh-eating bacteria, into other areas of my life. Not only is there a certain type of fold that I use on towels (different depending on the size/use of said towel), but I like to make sure that a certain part of the towel is out and stack the towels so that the folds all go in the same way. I like the edges to all be square. Now, even I don't do all this all the time, but when I do, I get this awesome feeling of satisfaction.

I am going to spend multiple days this break cleaning obsessively, I have decided. And, now here is the sick part, I am really quite looking forward to this! I have discovered something, though, here is where I feel like I am really sharing a secret with y'all, I really like the way that it feels to have everything in its place around me, makes it easier to focus on everything else, everything inside my head and outside my house. Today, for instance, my dad and I put together my new desk that we got a week or so ago. It is set up in my study room, my comp etc is all set up on it, the desktop is clutter free. I feel like I not only received a new desk, but a new computer, a new room, and a new lease on life. It really is demented but also beautiful and simple. If all that I need to do is take a little more control over the controllable aspects of my life in order to feel this energized and free, why wouldn't I continue to do so? I cannot come up with a good answer to that question, and so the cleaning will begin!

I am sitting here, working on this to do list for tomorrow and actually getting a rush thinking of how clean things are going to be, what a difference I am going to make in the way that things look and ARE around here. The floors will be so clean! The cupboards obsessively organized! The books in lovely alphabetical order! (I would never consider using this library of congress's system of organization, revolting!) I know that this is a lot of exclamation points! But it really is how I am feeling at the moment ::smile::

To clarify, I do not have an obsessively clean or organized life and probably never will (you should see my locker or my other desk) and I do not judge disorganized people (I AM ONE!). I like not being held into place by conventional standards of organization and such and I can and will function in this crazy hodge-podge world. In conclusion, however, more bits of my life are going to become obsessively organized, what can I say, it gets me high, and then we will just see where we are. Won't we?

So, I just returned home from a lovely chinese lunch special at my favorite Chinese restaurant ever with two of my favorite friends/classmates from vet school. This came following our four hour biochem final (which only took us about 3:15 or so :). I can't get the goofy smile off of my face. My finals are OVER!! I HAVE A THREE WEEK BREAK! And I learned a lot this semester, not as much as I should have, probably, but A LOT. I can make up a bit over break, too, go back over stuff that I don't feel comfortable enough with and work until I do. Afterall, what I am learning now is going to be important for the rest of my life (but isn't that true of most things that a person learns?).

There is much recreation planned for the rest of this week, including, but not limited to, the following:
Queer potluck
after finals party
ice skating
Christmas shopping
knitting
watching some taped tv shoes
Jesus Christ Superstar

Any of that sound good? Do any of you wish to join me?

My brain can finally not feel like it is going to explode in a vice for a bit.
As I said, a glorious feeling!

So, I just finished either the first half of my first final of vet school or my first final of vet school, you take your pick. The lab portion of my Anatomy test. And I feel... how do I feel? As though someone has been reaching up through my vagina and cervix, through my uterus and fallopian tubes, and pulling on my ovaries.
Or maybe like someone has been poking around with a probe in my head, pulling out the nerves that apparently I should have known for this test, but did not.
Now, when a test is a final and cumulative but also has new information on it, wouldn't you expect a little bit more than one or two questions of 25 to be old stuff? I would, I did, I guess that I won't anymore.
Hope that I can make up some of those points on the conceptual multiple choice portion on Monday...

no, no, don't be scared. I am not the creature from the black lagoon. I am back from the abyss of self-invovement that the past bit has required here at school. I have not yet drowned nor have I flunked out.
Quick update before I resubmerge for another week or so until after my finals are over. I will try to just hit the high points:


1) A big shot out to lil' Susie S for the sweetest thing that has happened to me in some time. I have been carrying the heart-wrenchingly cute little frog around in my bag. I stands watch as I study, both inspiring and protecting me.

2) I have no more tests until my finals start this Thursday. How cool is that?

3) Tomorrow will be the final day that I have to deal with the rotting corpse that has been my lab group's "best friend" for the past 15 weeks. I would dance a jig of joy and thanksgiving, but sore muscles prevent me from doing so.

4) I braved the rec center here on campus for the first time on Friday. Although I allowed the meat-heads to intimidate me away from lifting weights in any fashion, I was introduced to the eliptical machine. After being freaked out by it for many reasons, I moved on to a normal stationary bicycle, which was much less foreign. Cardiovascular work-out ensued.

5) Saturday I ice-skated for the first time ever. IT WAS AWESOME!! I can't even describe the amazing mix of pain, excitement, and elation that ice skating delivered to me. The pain was from a couple of kinda nasty falls as well as painful-to-the-point-of-tears non-existant foot arches. I think that the pain may have actually hightened the experience, though. I believe that this could be supported biochemically, as well.

6) This morning during my break I went to the rec center again, happy to find that it was nearly empty. Rapture! At the bidding of my friend, Meredith, I gave the eliptical another try. I think that I will like it once I get the hang of the stride. I also used a recumbant stationary bike as well several muscle group isolation machines.

7) The muscle soreness mentioned in number 3 is most likely due to 4-6.

8) One of the reasons for the striving to increase physical activity level is in the interest of stress-relief.

9) also, I would like to begin establishing habits now that will benefit me for the rest of my life

10) And the third big and final reason is... I have recently become somewhat irrationally concerned with increasing my long-term heart health. There is no familial or personal medical reason for this. Mostly, it is because we just finished cardiac physiology and are working on the biochemistry of lipids and cholesterol at school. So, because I don't want to be one of those statistics, I work out. I am hoping that my obsessive nature will benefit me here, keeping me on track and motivating me to be regular with my schedule in the interest of physical and mental health.

My first semester of vet school is almost over. Where did it go? Will I retain what I have learned? Will it be pertinant in the future? Will I still want to be doing this at this time next year? Will I make it that far?
Stay tuned to find out the answers to these questions and more!