So, I have recently, over the course of this past (just barely) semester of school, realized that I have an obsession, long mostly-latent, but rearing its ugly head at the oddest times in the weirdest places. I may actually be a neat/organization freak in some odd way. Weird little pockets of my life are, and have been for a long time, very obsessively organized. Books in alphabetical order by author/editor and title, pens grouped by type and color, that kind of thing. There are a lot of things that I just don't care about, but there are things that I just prefer to have and have done a certain way. I think that most people are like that. I mean, most things I don't freak out if they aren't the exact way I like them, but if I get the chance to do so, I do them my way. Control, I guess.

Well, anyway, my problem: this obsession is spreading, like a flesh-eating bacteria, into other areas of my life. Not only is there a certain type of fold that I use on towels (different depending on the size/use of said towel), but I like to make sure that a certain part of the towel is out and stack the towels so that the folds all go in the same way. I like the edges to all be square. Now, even I don't do all this all the time, but when I do, I get this awesome feeling of satisfaction.

I am going to spend multiple days this break cleaning obsessively, I have decided. And, now here is the sick part, I am really quite looking forward to this! I have discovered something, though, here is where I feel like I am really sharing a secret with y'all, I really like the way that it feels to have everything in its place around me, makes it easier to focus on everything else, everything inside my head and outside my house. Today, for instance, my dad and I put together my new desk that we got a week or so ago. It is set up in my study room, my comp etc is all set up on it, the desktop is clutter free. I feel like I not only received a new desk, but a new computer, a new room, and a new lease on life. It really is demented but also beautiful and simple. If all that I need to do is take a little more control over the controllable aspects of my life in order to feel this energized and free, why wouldn't I continue to do so? I cannot come up with a good answer to that question, and so the cleaning will begin!

I am sitting here, working on this to do list for tomorrow and actually getting a rush thinking of how clean things are going to be, what a difference I am going to make in the way that things look and ARE around here. The floors will be so clean! The cupboards obsessively organized! The books in lovely alphabetical order! (I would never consider using this library of congress's system of organization, revolting!) I know that this is a lot of exclamation points! But it really is how I am feeling at the moment ::smile::

To clarify, I do not have an obsessively clean or organized life and probably never will (you should see my locker or my other desk) and I do not judge disorganized people (I AM ONE!). I like not being held into place by conventional standards of organization and such and I can and will function in this crazy hodge-podge world. In conclusion, however, more bits of my life are going to become obsessively organized, what can I say, it gets me high, and then we will just see where we are. Won't we?