Today we had our first experience (in school) with live animals. It was for a class that didn't even exist until this year, Clinical Foundations, where we learn how to do basic things that we wouldn't have gotten formally until our third or fourth year before: proper restraint, medical history, medical records, physical examinations, drawing blood, giving injections, and I'm sure much, much more. We used/will be using dogs. They are the junior surgery dogs. They come from animal shelters all over the state of Iowa. It is a lot like a human donating hir body to science. Instead of being put down at the shelters, which was formally the fate of all these dogs, they came to live at the vet school for a while in order to teach us how to be better doctors and to save the lives of other animals down the road. Yes, the surgeries are terminal, but the number of dogs used is not exorbitant and they are treated with respect and are very important to our education and to the health of future generations of animals. Instead of a life wasted, like many of the animals that end up at shelters, having to be euthenized because of irresponsible companion animal relations (aka pet ownership).
But it was kinda hard. Harder than I thought it would be, I mean, I don't even really like dogs that much. I don't DISlike them, I just don't have the spot in my heart (so to speak) for them that I have for other animals. The first dog that my group had was very stressed out. Keep in mind that these dogs were pretty much all strays their whole lives, so they never got the chance to become socialized like pet dogs do. So just being around people can be stressful for some of them, depending on their background. This dog started out stressed and the problem just elevated. And she was long-haired, so we got covered in dog hair (thank goodness for lab coats, since this was right away this morning), and by the time we could finally get a heart rate on her she had urinated on the table (and some of us) and begun biting.
Luckily there were three extra dogs, so we got a different one to complete our physical exam of. She was much more docile and submissive. She also urinated, but made no sign that she was going to get us. It was stressful to see that first dog so stressed out. At the time, I didn't think it bothered me too much. The blood draw went okay, but the guy doing it didn't palpate the vein thouroughly enough before going in and ended up having to dig around for a bit to get the vein. That made me squirm, for the fact that I know how that feels in my arm, it hurts! So I felt kinda icky that this dog was having that experience. But, still, I didn't think it bothered me too much.

Luckily we finished early and, thus, had two and a half hours of down time before our next class. I was kinda out of commission for most of it, though, cause I felt pretty stressed and sad about the situation in lab. Meredith and I were going to study in the library for morphology, instead we ended up just talking most of the time, though, which was good for me because it made me feel less stressed and confused about the stuff from this morning.

Upon reflection, the whole experience really did bother me. It stressed me out a lot and kinda made me want to cry afterward. Like, this animal wasn't even sick, just stressed, and there wasn't really anything that I could do for it. And I truly do believe that it is important for us to have real live animal experience before getting thrown into a clinical setting and who wants a doctor who has no experience with live tissue to operate on their loved one. It hit me that these dogs didn't ever, most of them, have anyone who loved them like that. It has definitely made me even more adament about resposibility of human caretakers to their charges and about spaying and neutering. Perhaps it has also made me a little more misanthropic than usual for the time being. A strange mix of powerlessness and hope arose within me this morning. Like, I couldn't do anything today and probably won't be able to for a while, and there will always be things that I can't do anything about, but someday, someday I WILL be able to help and fix things, I'll be able to do everything in my power to fix some of these situations and my realm of power will be much larger than it is now. And for the time being, I will do what I can.

On that note, I filled out a form to apply to be involved in queer speakers' bureaus on campus today and am going to email the main queer group here on campus to find out about meetings and activism opportunities. I am ready, I need to dabble in that arena again. I miss the GLBTAU! (crazy, I know.) You guys had better be taking care of my baby! Even though I sorely neglected it for the last while that I should have been taking responsibility for it, when it was partly my charge.

Well, not the note that I wanted to leave this on, but I really am shot and need to get up at 6 again tomorrow morning, so I will be retiring to my sleeping room.

To all those of you in Iowa City, enjoy it while you have it. And appreciate the fact that you aren't surrounded by ~80% people who will be voting for Killer G come November.