(Originally posted on February 15, 2005)

The subject line is from a Billy Joel song, "Summer Highland Falls". This song is one that immediately identified with and loved the first time I heard it over four years ago now. I was always a Billy Joel fan, but had had fairly limited exposure (only the radio, really) until Cianan, who was a huge fan and had a lot of Billy Joel cd's. The lyrics of this song are... wonderful, the melody is beautiful and simple. I am including them herefor the enjoyment of all.

They say that these are not the best of times
But they’re the only times I’ve ever known
And I believe there is a time for meditation
In cathedrals of our own
Now I have seen that sad surrender in my lover’s eyes
And I can only stand apart and sympathize
For we are always what our situations hand us
It’s either sadness or euphoria

So we’ll argue and we’ll compromise
And realize that nothing’s ever changed
For all our mutual experience
Our separate conclusions are the same
Now we are forced to recognize our inhumanity
A reason coexists with our insanity
And though we choose between reality and madness
It’s either sadness or euphoria

How thoughtlessly we dissipate our energies
Perhaps we don’t fulfill each other’s fantasies
And as we stand upon the ledges of our lives
With our respective similarities
It’s either sadness or euphoria.


Quick update:
School is sucking a lot. I have been studying more this semester than last, but my scores are not showing this, which is very frustrating, to say the least. For those of you who know me (especially those of you who have known me since early undergrad or ::gasp:: high school!), you can probably imagine my reactions. Yesterday was a good day turned awful turned amazing. Woke up beside two people that I love and stayed there until the last possible moment. My throat was on fire and felt about the diameter of a pencil, though. Ran into Cate driving home on my way to school, she had a funeral of a peer to attend. It was a suicide, she was sad. I gave her a kissing hand to help her remember that she is loved and it will all be okay. Histo/phys was excruciating. Neurobiology test went alright, I think, but I was actually falling asleep between questions due to feeling like crap (the immune system at work!). Decided that neurobio lab was out of the question due to the way that I felt. Told my prof, he said it was a good day to miss since we weren't going to have a test. Went to Target for decongestant, soap and a toothbrush (to keep not at my house...). Slept for four hours, felt better, though light-headed. I needed to eat, since I hadn't since 7:30ish that morning and I had a cereal bar, not too substantial. This light-headedness led to nausea, led to not wanting to eat, even though I needed to. Also, there were surely interleukins at work diminishing my appetite whilst making me feel icky while attacking the invaders in my body. Got lonely and sad, was hormonal on top of it all.
I began to study at Troy and Rachel's and Troy came home shortly. Cuddling, crying, and talking was done, I felt much much better afterward. It's amazing how far a little bit of love can do to fix feelings. My night just kept getting better after that. I am amazed, speechless, at the situation in which I have recently found myself. Little in my life has felt as wonderful and right as this and if I believed in some sort of diety or organizing being, I would be giving them thanks. As I do not, I have chosen to thank many dieties, though for the ritual only, and I also choose to become further amazed at biochemistry, neurobiology, and animal behavior. That anything can make a person feel as I have lately. I sincerely hope that every person out there (that reads this journal and that doesn't) is lucky enough to feel what I am feeling. The world would be a better place.
I have been rambling and need to now go look at rumen fluid. Good day to all of you. If I love you, we should talk soon. If I don't, talk to someone that you love, it will improve your entire world-view.